Stars in Danger: The High Dive -- Fox, Wednesday, 8 p.m.
Can't you visualize Brad Pitt shaking in the door of a plane 10,000 feet in the air, about to plummet to his doom? Unfortunately, the high dive is of the pool variety, with the special being that eight celebrities will learn how to perform Olympic-style dives from various heights before competing against each other.
The "stars" include Jenni "J-Woww" Farley from Jersey Shore, former NFL player-turned hack reality show personality Terrell Owens, a couple people from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and four others that aren't stars in any sense.
Aside from the possibility of botched dives resulting in painful belly flops, isn't the real danger for these C-list celebrities that they're losing their already tenuous grip on cultural relevancy?
Nashville -- ABC, Wednesday, 10 p.m.
Nashville returns this week after a short mid-season Christmas hiatus. When we left off, Juliette made a candlelight proposal to the guy that's apparently supposed to be Tim Tebow. Deacon, who had been given less and less to do in each passing episode, accepted an offer to go on tour with a newly sober band that's apparently supposed to be Aerosmith. And Rayna figured out a way to get her label to approve her Ashton Kutcher/Jack White hybrid to produce her record -- as long as she does a co-headlining tour with Juliette.
Seriously, enough with the silly political stuff we're forced to sit through every week; the music scenes are always the most compelling. Except for the ones with that scumbag Avery, who apparently is supposed to be a character from a cheap Internet porn video.
70th Annual Golden Globe Awards -- NBC, Sunday, 8 p.m.
The Golden Globes are like that appetizer dish someone brings to a party that doesn't really taste that good, but that people eat anyway because it's there. This year though, some of the nominations are completely indefensible. How do you snub Mad Men in what was possibly its best season and put the often-insufferable The Newsroom in its place? Furthermore, did Hayden Pennetiere really do a better job on Nashville than Christina Hendricks or Elisabeth Moss did on Mad Men? Where are Peter Dinklage and Aaron Paul? Mr. Bates?
At least the film portion doesn't have too many outrageous picks (and it's good to see Django getting some love). But in the end, the Golden Globes are mostly interesting not to see which star gets the most awards, but which one becomes the sloppiest drunk.
Girls -- HBO, Sunday, 9 p.m.
Lena Dunham's self-deprecating saga of spoiled brats returns this week. Dunham has really made a name for herself since the end of the last season of Girls. She appeared in surrogate father Judd Apatow's This is 40, some of her essays appeared in The New Yorker and she got a $3.5 million book deal that almost nobody thinks she deserves.
While Dunham will likely continue to impress in her role as Hannah, hopefully the rest of the cast is up to snuff this season. Two of them don't have to worry: Zosia Mamet as the now-deflowered neurotic Shoshanna, and Andrew Rannells as Hannah's gay ex-boyfriend who's about to become her roommate. Jessa and Marnie though? The less of them, the better.
Follow Pete McQuaid on Twitter @sweetestpete.