1600 Penn -- Monday, NBC, 9:30 p.m.
- 1600 Penn has a rating of 1.1 out of 10 on imdb.com and it hasn't even aired yet, which means maybe some people aren't unequivocally excited for this show. But come on -- it's Bill Pullman in the White House. He saved the world from aliens and crafted a presidential speech which is up there with JFK's "Ask not what your country can do for you" and Mitt Romney's "We built that!" Jenna Elfman plays his wife, which is great for her because she's spent most of her post-Dharma and Greg life listening to Danny Elfman (her husband's uncle) practice the Desperate Housewives theme.
Miss Universe Pageant -- Wednesday, NBC, 8 p.m.
- If watching the Miss America Pageant is like seeing a classical orchestra, Miss Universe is like seeing Bon Jovi, Madonna and a bikini contest all in a row. Owned by inconspicuous mogul Donald Trump, the pageant is a showcase to find the most beautiful woman in the world, so it's fitting that it takes place at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. There's a massive potential problem with Miss Universe though: When we eventually find alien life forms on other planets, are we going to have to let their "most beautiful" female represent them in the pageant? What if she's hideous, or just a big amorphous blob? Would Trump ask for her birth certificate to prove that she was, in fact, born on that planet?
WWE Tribute to the Troops -- Wednesday, USA, 9 p.m.
- WWE's Tribute to the Troops started out in 2003 when it sent its roster of roided-up wrestlers to Fort Victory in Baghdad, where they spent a few days with the troops and then put on a free show for them. Now they're just going to a base in Virginia, which isn't as cool or practical -- if a firefight broke out while your soldiers were overseas, wouldn't you want wrestlers to be there with them more than any other entertainer? They're big and strong, and the insurgency wouldn't expect any of the crazy moves that would be coming their way. Actually, this just sounds like the plot to the WWE's next direct-to-DVD movie.
A White House Christmas: First Families Remember -- Thursday, NBC, 8 p.m.
- Meredith Viera will talk to many First Family members from the past 50 years and hear memories about what life is like in the White House at Christmas. OK, that's the boring part. The most interesting thing in this will be the inevitable behind-the-scenes look at how all the White House workers prepare. I'm a sucker for those kinds of things -- I will watch anything that has the White House Executive Pastry Chef talking about what the President's favorite cookie is.
Follow Pete McQuaid on Twitter @sweetestpete.