The Carrie Diaries
The CW, Monday, 8 p.m.: The CW needed a show about a young, sexy protagonist to replace its crown jewel Gossip Girl, which just ended its run last month. Its solution was The Carrie Diaries, based on Candace Bushnell's book of the same name that's the prequel to Sex and the City.
It's like the Muppet Babies version of SatC, since it follows Carrie Bradshaw when she was a senior in high school, about to embark on her career of writing once a week to sustain her lavish New York lifestyle. The show will surely pique the interest of SatC fans, although it must be terrifying for star AnnaSophia Robb to think she may one day turn into Sarah Jessica Parker.
Golden Globe Awards Fashion Police
E!, Monday, 9 p.m.: Fashion Police is actually fun, even if you don't watch award shows or if you don't care about fashion. And it's all because of Joan Rivers. She has such a vile sense of humor, unafraid of vividly attacking everything from fat people to her own extensive plastic surgery.
I'm convinced she sits backstage before the show with a notepad and just racks her brain to put together the grossest similes she can muster -- and she definitely succeeds.
CBS, Monday, 10 p.m.: Which do you like more: CBS police procedurals, or choose-your-own-adventure books? An impossible choice, but that's OK because CBS is combining them in a new episode of Hawaii Five-O. The show will introduce three suspects in a murder case, and the audience will vote on Twitter to choose which ending it wants to see. But if you don't like the ending you see, you can't hold your finger and go back to the last page -- you're stuck.
Fox, Wednesday, 8 p.m.: American Idol's "jump the shark" season begins Wednesday, when new hosts Mariah Carey, Keith Urban and Nicki Minaj take the screen for the first time. Does this have any chance of actually being good? It may be entertaining to watch Urban's "what did I get myself into" face while Minaj and Carey bicker at each other about God knows what. But that's it. It's over, American Idol. You had a good run.
Comedy Central, Wednesday, 10:30 p.m.: Nick Kroll's been wasted on The League, but he parlayed his experience on that into his own sketch-comedy show on Comedy Central.
He'll get to use some of his hilarious characters known to avid listeners of the Comedy Bang Bang podcast, on which he appears regularly. You can't hear his character El Chupacabra speak and not start laughing uncontrollably. So watch.
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