Larry Hagman as J.R. Ewing on Dallas
Larry Hagman as J.R. Ewing on Dallas

Dallas -- TNT, Monday, 9 p.m.

Enjoy Dallas while you can.

Last summer's surprising soapy hit is back, and with it comes Larry Hagman's swan song as conniving eyebrow-raiser J.R. Ewing. Hagman, who died during the filming of the upcoming second season, will live for a few more hours before his fictional alter-ego gets killed off in what's sure to be a ridiculous soap-opera death plot.

The new Dallas (and probably the old one, too) is the ultimate guilty pleasure, a shameless execution of uber-melodrama that's worth watching way more for the older characters (J.R. and Bobby Ewing, Cliff Barnes, that Bum guy) than the others. With the best part of the show gone, is there any reason to watch? Maybe John Ross turns into an effective J.R. 2.0; if not, Jesse Metcalfe's pained facial expression is all the show's really got.

Southie Rules -- A&E, Tuesday, 10 p.m.

A&E's love of exploitative reality shows and the public's love of "authentic" Boston will combine with this week's premiere of Southie Rules. The show will follow a family of old-neighborhood South Boston natives, who have to grapple with the area's recent gentrification and change from a tight, working-class community to a nightmarish horde of annoying yo-pros. Expect a lot of hard Boston accents and cries by locals of "Welcome to Southie, yuppies!" That sounds like it was lifted from The O.C. but trust me, an awful Southie gentrifier: They say it.

By the way, does the title refer to the regulations that govern Southie, or is it an exclamatory sentence establishing Southie's dominance?


The Americans -- FX, Wednesday, 10 p.m.

Keri Russell is playing an undercover KGB agent.

No, the world hasn't turned upside down.

Russell and Matthew Rhys star in the extremely promising The Americans as Soviet sleeper agents in America during the height of the Cold War. They have kids who have no idea of their parents' profession, and nobody around them suspects a thing. Very Homeland-y, from the sound of it. But sweet little Felicity as a Russian spy? I'll believe it when I see it.

Super Bowl XLVII -- CBS, Sunday, 6:30 p.m.

People around here are infinitely less excited for the biggest television event of the year, but that won't stop them from watching it. The Super Bowl means beers and camera flashes and buffalo chicken and trips to Disney World. If there's any consolation from the Patriots' pathetic loss to the Ravens, it's that they will lose in the Harbaugh Bowl to the cooler Harbaugh, Jim. The game probably won't even be close (still don't trust Joe Flacco and his weirdly shaped nose).

The most interesting part of the game? Beyonce's half-time playlist. My hope? "Jumpin' Jumpin,' " "Single Ladies," "Crazy In Love," "Halo," "Love On Top."

Don't expect her to sing live, though.

Follow Pete McQuaid on Twitter @sweetestpete.